I´ve seen things you people would´t believe

You cunt
how could you?

I can´t tell the truth

if i believed, i would pray right now.
for forgivness.

the horror, the damage is so strong?

shall i never find redemption?

on my knees i am praying to a godless sky.

My name is pain and my blood is revenge

But I will not ask for revenge.
I will remain in my distant kingdom staring at the empty walls.
I shall not pray for revenge.
I won´t ask for his blood. My curse won´t fall upon his name.
I can´t call for revenge.
I´ll refrain the treacherous hand that threatens to close his eyes.
Revenge will not knock on his door.

I´ll forgive him.
I´ll forgive me.

He knows his blood is on my lips.

He knows I´ve turned my eyes to the other side. Pride no longer being a weapon to use.

He doesn´t know everything.

My steps are silent. You won´t hear me entering the room. You´ll hesitate before turning your head.
By that moment I´ll already be behind you.

Never saw that coming didn´t you?

The last days of winter

Angel

Angel come on down from heaven yesterday
Stayed with me just long enough to rescue me
And she told me a story yesterday
About the love between the moon
And the deep blue sea
Then she spread her wings high above me
And she said she gonna come back tomorrow

And I said
Fly on by, sweet angel
Fly on through the sky
Fly on, my sweet angel
Tomorrow I will be right by your side

Sure enough, this woman came home to me
Silver wings, silhouette against a child's own prize
Oh, angel, she said unto me
Today is the day for you to rise
Take my hand, take my hand
You're gonna rise
And then, she took me high over yonder

And I said
Fly on by, sweet angel
Fly on through the sky
Fly on, my sweet angel
Forever I will be right by your side
(Hendrix)

Another day´s lifetime for the lonely wolf.
Back in the asphalt world, getting back in shape.
Who knows where the next battle´ll take place.

Pretending not to care, holding my stomach tight everytime the phone rings, wondering if it´ll be my partner for this silent stars of the cinema, the bloodstream, the river...

All my walls are plain white after I took every bit of me off them. Now they don´t belong to anyone.

But I guess it´s le temp pour la nouvelle chanson, and I must open the windows and let the night air hit me straight in the face.
One by one the pictures will take their place. The image of Chatterton on his death bed, the lady of Shallot, Byron´s greek costume, Damiel kissing the acrobat under Cassiel´s watch, the Brittanny enchanted forests, the photos of the forever boy with the sad eyes, the beaches, the Camdem town hookers of Walter Sickert, my preciuos rivers, the Africa I´ve never been to. The family I long for so strongly.
Some might be lost in the way, but it´s time to say goodbye to some ghosts and most of the living will remain.

And so, I smile and make a little curtsy and present myself to this spring summer to be, wearing my winter´s gloves, because my hands are always cold.

And I let the light to fall in my face while shivers travel down my spine.

lonely Wolf

Life
Live
living
i´m still alive
one day
another one
warmth inside me
Holding on.

I am trying to hold on
i´m learning to paint an elephant.
a lamb
a fox

for the lonely wolf