Monday, December 24, 2012

Black bird inside my chest

Ok, I know it's cheating to just keep posting pictures, but lately words fail me more and more as my hands grow tire too quickly.
But I have a Christmas tree that I set myself and I'll cook dinner for 3 of my best friends. And I'm alive. Who would've thought that? Another year. I've made it. Last month was a very close call. Very close. I'm growing scare of my time coming to an end and at the same time I feel too tired to keep going. But I am alive. And I'm made of flesh and warm blood. And someone just touched this wretched body of mine. These burning tears. I don't want to go. I want to touch other bodies and maybe one day forget the empty space between my arms. And then maybe I'll be able to sleep in peace.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Baby girl

I'm sorry I'm failing you. But I just can't go on. I am taking every step I can to make sure you'll have a good life when I'm gone.
I'm sorry I'm such a piece of shit. I'm sorry I've been weak. I'm sorry I will not keep my promise of staying with you.
But You'll be safe and better without me. I will honor my word and make sure you have a good place to live. And you will be loved. Love you baby girl.