Last pages

No matter I look good these days, i´m still dying.
I´ve even been feeling happy, which is not a contradiction if you ask me, I´ve been working, I have red cheeks and I´ve even gain in some weight.
But that is just temporal, I can feel it.
I am finally getting help but i believe it has come too late.
It´s coming back and I don´t think I have the strenght to fight against it again.
I´m scared.
I´m tired.

And I don´t want to die.

Looking for a new job.

Tired of doing numbers. (hate it)

In need of a drink.

Everyone´s invited for a drink.

So clap your hands and come for one to my own private bar.

and i do want to find somebody to love.

goodbye kid

this is the story of... wait a minute, do the lovers get together at the end? mmmmm no,
ok, it´s not that kind of story.
the truth is:
i am leaving behind a trail of blood, dead corpses, after me,
i am tired of drama, i´m tired of complications appearing one hundred million years after they happened. Iam learning to let go.
And so you are right.
I´ve been mean and cruel. I accept it regret it would like to say I´m sorry but at the end of the day it is also true I can`t give you what you want so it is time to say goodbye now.
and i`ve been selfish for not pushing you away amd letting you stay in my life when it was obviously me who had to do say enough.
I`m sorry kid.
I can`t love you. I´ll never will.
Don´t wish me too much evil, life is already collecting taxes with me.
I hope our paths won´t cross again for you to find happiness.
Someone who deserves your love.
a quiet place where you can be.
I won´t look back. I will think of you, i always do, but i´ll refrain my need to call you. I won´t stop by.
I´ll be hurt of course. don´t think i am not missing you.
i loved you in so many ways...
but i can´t love you the way you want me to.
so i´m saying goodbye.
i hope you won´t look back at our time as something bad. it´s just something that is gone.
goodbye kid, goodbye.