So let love come to my side

How can I stop my heart from being in such a despair. I move and get up, and talk and do as I am supposed to, but cannot sit listening to this haunting beat that goes on and on, without stop, without a breath, just tormenting me, this voices in my mind, whispering, telling me all the wrong things, and I walk and i pray for this torture to come to an end. To these days stop being so long, so much light covering me while this treacherous wind plays with my skirts and wouldn´t let me at ease. This secret crave that I cannot name, myself being my own traitor, the tears running helpessly down my cheeks, just wanting to scream, feverish and covered with shame, oh lord! let there be a word for this, to describe the sacred hours I´ve spent running away from thy glory and choosing instead to have them here, laying, sighs and mourns, without knowing how to call it. Please, let it come to me soon, that I wish not to keep living in this state and rather spend one minute of glory and passion next to it than this heavy eternity of calm peace.