Smiling, chest pain, the medicine is finally kicking in. And I've done something stupid. But I can't help me smiling. Doctor tricked me, but at least the pain is gone for now, and that beautiful writing sends me to bed with peace in my heart.
Far away. Night covers me and her mistress I am.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Boy with a knife on his hands
I don't want to go to sleep, every night I close my eyes takes me one step away from you. Just a moment. A chance. Usually you start by forgetting the eye color. Then it's the shape of hands. Height. Sound of your voice. You end up being a blur...
Blue grey, dirty eye color, different from the green blue of your brother, slender hands, surprisingly strong, white slim fingers. Slightly taller than me, but you are always crouching, the effect of being a tall thin boy, geeky, almost overwhelmed by yourself, shy, sort of always hiding. Crooked one sided smile, a psychopath smile I said.
Just grow up. Charming boy I met under a red blooded moon, go beyond the spell and grow up. While I write these words I know you will never be the man that he might have turn into, but that it's lost now. Who you will become?
Glass shattered. The tiger, the elephant and the wolf are gathered around me, wondering to which crazy god I'm howling to.
I just close my eyes.
Blue grey, dirty eye color, different from the green blue of your brother, slender hands, surprisingly strong, white slim fingers. Slightly taller than me, but you are always crouching, the effect of being a tall thin boy, geeky, almost overwhelmed by yourself, shy, sort of always hiding. Crooked one sided smile, a psychopath smile I said.
Just grow up. Charming boy I met under a red blooded moon, go beyond the spell and grow up. While I write these words I know you will never be the man that he might have turn into, but that it's lost now. Who you will become?
Glass shattered. The tiger, the elephant and the wolf are gathered around me, wondering to which crazy god I'm howling to.
I just close my eyes.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Sea tales, sad stories
I met a blue grey eyed boy next to the sea. Thin and fragile in appearance, skin so white you would've thought he was a ghost. First time I saw him we thought we knew each other, but then maybe it was just a premonition of things to happen. He came one morning, sun just coming up, took my hand and took me deep into the sea, show me castles under the water, and caught light with his fingers and made a ring with it for me. He made me laugh and when the pain came he hold me tight. He touched my back and told me stories of phoenix and dragon, their long battles, love and hate. And we looked into each other eyes, amber playing on a grey ocean, blue and auburn melting. And he took my hand and I saw his. And then, alas, the horror. The sign. And then we were doomed. And blood came up to my mouth and pain like a lighting stroke my nerves, wanting to kill, murder and destroy. But I just closed my eyes and cried. And we stayed there, one second captured into eternity by the beating in unison of our hearts.
Friday, November 04, 2011
The ghost of us
A little knock on the door. Footsteps outside.
You don't know what pain or love mean. You just know the sound of your name.
Y la resina acumulada en mis venas me convierte en una muñeca de horror, monstruo destinado a atraer a los espectadores de este circo sin nunca percibir simpatía.
Blood, guts, spit and death live in my dreams. The promise of prosperity still being unfulfilled. The phoenix flies away with lies on its feathers. With my name underneath.
Porque una sola de tus lágrimas en mi mano no es igual a los gritos de miles de almas pidiendo lo que a tí se te ha dado natural. Porque tú nunca vivirás ni sabrás lo que es la vida que te despierta a mitad de la noche. Porque you get to move on, while I just die.
So i am tearing up my costume tonight and coming through your dreams and tell you I love you.
And then I am killing you, while my blood covers all traces of what was meant to be.
And then I will wake up, and I'll have to face you and go to work and smile and go on.
Day after day, knowing you are nowhere.
I am still pain.
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